I don't understand what's going on with myself.
Right now, I'm living far from home. I'm on the opposite side of the world of my country, I'm studying and living here, while basically all of my friends still live in our hometown or close to it and they don't have the desire to leave, to experience life abroad.
Last week I met a friend who flew over to visit. I feel like we're so different... we already were before, but now I feel like the gap between us is even bigger and I'm kind of scared. I'm scared because when I go back I don't know how I will cope. I don't want to go back, I still have almost three months here but the mere thought of going back home is scaring me to death even right now. I mean... I miss my family and of course my friends... but I don't want to go back forever. I wish I could find a job here and spend a little more time in Japan.
I'm so confused... I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat but I really feel so troubled lately...
Yesterday a quote from The Lord of the Rings came to mind.
How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back?
I hope I find the answers I need.